Day 3 Joshua- Numbers 14:10-39

For a semi-recovering perfectionist grumbling is a kinder word than criticizing, right? Because I’m guessing the posting for yesterday should have been Numbers 14:1-9 so that today’s entry is 10-39. Not a few minutes of my morning have been spent trying not to judge this typo.  Not to mention the anxiety I feel over my journal entries being not properly synced.  I mean, really – it occurs to me that I should go back and rewrite yesterday to limit my comments to the appropriate passage! No, really  – this is how my brain works – and it is whacked!

So, deep breath…this has been a test…it is only a test.  Yesterday’s manna was yesterday’s manna, typo or not.  Today here is a perfectly set up opportunity for my pea-brain to grumble while being perfectly synced to the verses that address it. A clear opportunity to chose – to grumble or not to grumble, that indeed is the question.

I know. Mistakes  are confusing and I only want to be doing it “right” but really – so much angst?

Lord I pray 10,000 compassions on the person who might feel embarrassed or small if this was a typo.  I pray mercy for me to just go with the flow. And I am grateful for the insight of how easily grumbling comes to mind and how it is painful to Your ears and how I am so NOT wanting to be a grumbler.

So these people grumbled and God called it unbelief.  This was huge unbelief considering the deliverance they had just experienced and in this case it had huge consequences.  I cannot even fathom what they had seen and done nor why they could so quickly blow it off.

I can understand the moments when my belief in God’s plan and God’s goodness is small.  Self-perservation kicks in and my anti-vulnerability shield goes up. I dig in for battle and make ferocious sounds and faces to ward off clamity.

And God says, “Tell me what you fear?” And I am learning to stop and answer His question.

About God?

God wants the people He loves to trust Him.

About Me?
Grumbling is a sign I am afraìd.  Lord, You are my hiding place.

About the World?
Grumbling?  How’s that working for you?


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