For a semi-recovering perfectionist grumbling is a kinder word than criticizing, right? Because I’m guessing the posting for yesterday should have been Numbers 14:1-9 so that today’s entry is 10-39. Not a few minutes of my morning have been spent trying not to judge this typo. Not to mention the anxiety I feel over my journal entries being not properly synced. I mean, really – it occurs to me that I should go back and rewrite yesterday to limit my comments to the appropriate passage! No, really – this is how my brain works – and it is whacked!
So, deep breath…this has been a test…it is only a test. Yesterday’s manna was yesterday’s manna, typo or not. Today here is a perfectly set up opportunity for my pea-brain to grumble while being perfectly synced to the verses that address it. A clear opportunity to chose – to grumble or not to grumble, that indeed is the question.
I know. Mistakes are confusing and I only want to be doing it “right” but really – so much angst?
Lord I pray 10,000 compassions on the person who might feel embarrassed or small if this was a typo. I pray mercy for me to just go with the flow. And I am grateful for the insight of how easily grumbling comes to mind and how it is painful to Your ears and how I am so NOT wanting to be a grumbler.
So these people grumbled and God called it unbelief. This was huge unbelief considering the deliverance they had just experienced and in this case it had huge consequences. I cannot even fathom what they had seen and done nor why they could so quickly blow it off.
I can understand the moments when my belief in God’s plan and God’s goodness is small. Self-perservation kicks in and my anti-vulnerability shield goes up. I dig in for battle and make ferocious sounds and faces to ward off clamity.
And God says, “Tell me what you fear?” And I am learning to stop and answer His question.
God wants the people He loves to trust Him.
Grumbling is a sign I am afraìd. Lord, You are my hiding place.
About the World?
Grumbling? How’s that working for you?