My thoughts seem to be running ahead of the readings. A week ago I was totally frustrated by “being out of order” but now it makes me chuckle. At least, in this one particular thing, the peace of surrender lingers.
“…again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him.”
Yesterday, my words put the hearer in the position of not knowing what to answer. I knew they would not know how to reply but foolishly I pressed anyway. It was confusing even for me and I have lost sleep over the hurt I may have caused. (I am pleading with God for the words to seek forgiveness.)
“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation,” is what Jesus said to Peter. Peter couldn’t keep his eyes open. Jesus got that. But his admonition was instructive even if it might only be used in the future. It was almost preventative medicine if there is such a thing when it comes to frailty of the flesh.
For me it translates to “don’t be surprised when you think you can just wing it and you find yourself coming up short. Remember the story I [Jesus] had told my disciples earlier about the vine and the branches? Apart from me even your good intentions can go awry. Practice the habit of being alert to pray, that you might not lean on your own understanding but offer mine instead.”