Day 7 Easter Mark 14:66-72

“And he broke down and wept.”

I have become so accustomed to writing first thing in the morning that my thoughts and feelings are likely to slip out on the written page before I can censor them. That happened this morning because I had to write Anne back before I could do anything else. We have been jotting short emails back and forth since Alain died and neither of us has heard anything from Ursula. It doesn’t seem to matter that Anne is actually in France and trying to reach her rather than me texting and emailing from here. So in Anne’s last message she asked about “how we were” and I put off answering. Today she asked if I had gotten her mail. It wasn’t fair to leave her hanging so I had to write her first.

It surprised me how raw my emotions were. Not just sadness but also love and appreciation and kick butt and joy and gratefulness. My heart is still full of all these feelings that I had no intention of noticing and much less intention of sharing.

Makes me think of Peter. He had plans to be the tough guy. And even though his adrenal glands were working overtime as he followed behind Jesus into enemy territory, he was still being brave, right? Until the horrible revelation crowed in his ears – “this is not bravery – this is betrayal.” “And he broke down and wept.”

Judas and Peter and I are all cut from the same fallen cloth. Because of sin we are betrayers… and not private betrayers either – because betrayal is not a secret sin. And when God allows us to see our weakness and frailty we are undone. Unraveled – but unraveled in a good way because while we were trying to “knit one and purl two” we slipped a stitch or two or four. And since we, who claim the name of Jesus, are being transformed into His image, there really can be no loose ends.

So, in mercy and with tender compassion, God undoes what we have built out of ego and bravado and stitches in a little more of Himself. Some days, when my heart is tender, it’s easier to let Him work.

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4 thoughts on “Day 7 Easter Mark 14:66-72

  1. I love the picture of being knitted into the image of God, which requires taking apart what has been put together in order to correct a mistake which was made long ago. (And long is relative as it could be anything from Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden to 15 minutes ago.) Love and hugs as you are filled in and made whole.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I can knit scarves and that is about it because everything else is completely too complicated for me, including purling. It’s a great thing to do while watching (or listening) to TV or riding in the car on a long trip. It’s a good hobby for someone who fidgets constantly. Learning is a lesson in frustration for sure. However, it is amazing how it all holds together with nothing more than a slip knot at the beginning. Maybe next time your up here we’ll do some knitting. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t tell you how many times I was brought to tears as a child or even teen by a well-intentioned invitation at a church service, youth rally, or camp. The doubts would crowd my brain. Am I saved? What if I wasn’t sincere when I asked Jesus into my heart? And the question at the root of all my fears – how can I be saved when I keep screwing up?

    Then there were the stories of missionaries who died because they would not deny Jesus. Or sermons regarding being unafraid and standing firm, even if it means ridicule, suffering, or death. Should we stand firm in the face of trials? Absolutely! Should we deny Jesus whenever it is easier or convenient? Of course not. Should we let fear drive us to deny our faith? No.

    The problem with all these well-intentioned messages is that while they sparked fervor, they also sparked an unfounded fear. Fear that if I ever deny my faith, or even stay silent in the face of opposition, then I would be a failure and worthy of condemnation. We know that fear is unfounded as evidenced by Peter. As today’s graphic states, “even when I have failed, if there is hope for Peter there is hope for me.” Do you question if Peter is spending eternity with Jesus? Do you wonder if Peter was “saved”? If these questions do not plague me about Peter, then why should I expect that I, or anyone else, will be held to a higher standard than one of Jesus’ closest companions? Romans 2:11 assures us God does not play favorites, for better or worse.

    On the news the other night, they interviewed a Christian man who escaped death and was reunited with his family. How did he do this? He agreed to convert to Islam. The fears of my youth quickly bubbled up into my head as I listened to his story. Fortunately, I could quash those fears with truth. The truth is God knows that man’s heart. Because only God knows the man’s heart, only He can judge the man, to include his choices, actions, and inactions. We know that man has hope because there was hope for Peter. And because there is hope for them, there is hope for me, in spite of all my failings and shortfalls. The hope Jesus has to offer never changes, fades, or disappears.

    Can I get an amen?

    About God? The love and forgiveness God has to offer cannot be fathomed by humans who are limited in understanding and by sin.

    About the World? God’s hope is available to all.

    About Me? God has not given us/me a spirit of fear.

    Liked by 1 person

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