*Disclaimer: The entries to this blog feel like they are getting pretty personal and you may see the dark side of my struggles. If you don’t want to go there please feel free to skip today’s post.
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
I was just about to bring up the IF:Equip page this morning when the phone rang. I didn’t realize then but it was the sound of the other shoe dropping. ‘My son’s Primary Care Physician (PCP) has left the practice and tomorrow’s appointment is cancelled.’
A little on-the-short-notice side but that wasn’t the big issue. I was counting on this guy. Not 2 weeks before said son’s Pain Management doctor sent a notice he was going too. I’ve tried to reach the PM guy for the very purpose of knowing how to transition meds and specialized care to someone else – no return calls. The last visit with him is scheduled for the day after the PCP’s visit.
For two weeks I’ve resisted panic, trusting that God would work it all out in spite of my concerns and knowledge of the state of the health care system. My hope was set on his PCP, his very competent referral person and my ability to communicate the immediate nature of my son’s needs.
So, I can hardly believe what has happened or the lead verse this morning. It is like marching orders:
“Prepare your mind for action. – You’ve got a brain and you going to have to use it. Gather your resources, make the phone calls, be the squeaky wheel until further notice. Time is short at this point. Do not be distracted.”
“However, set your hope on the grace that will be brought to you when Jesus reveals Himself in this. Don’t hope in these people or your abilities. Put your hope in Jesus showing up. Put your hope in Him having a plan. Put the full weight of your hope on the grace He will be bringing.”
“God, I don’t know if I can do this. Of course I will try. I will fight like a momma bear for my 45 year old cub but I don’t’ know if my efforts will matter. I could list a thousand reasons and obstacles I fear…
Oh! That’s putting my hope in me, isn’t it?
I am terrified and You say something about greasing the way with grace? How exactly does that work? You realize this is my son’s life – not mine, right? You get to do this kinda stuff with me but he didn’t sign up for these crazy faith exercises. He is counting on me. I am who he has on his side…”
“Yes – and I AM who you have on your side.”