“God has appointed for me another offspring…”
The first day of this study I was drawn to the consequences of Eve’s sin – multiplied pain in childbearing. Anyone who is a mother knows the potential for that pain continues long after the baby is born. The self-doubt that comes with rearing children is never far from us. Our hearts soar over a son’s helpful politeness and 60 seconds later nose-dive when we find the marijuana he left in his dirty jeans. Right or wrong, I think every mother’s first thought is “what have I done wrong?”
I cannot imagine Eve’s devastation at losing her son Abel. He was good and innocent. That would have been wounding enough but complicate that by the perpetrator – her other son! “How did this happen? How could I have failed my children so badly?” It is hard to get up off the floor and declare “God has not deserted me, nor my children” when everything screams the opposite.
Here is where Eve – the mother of all living – is brave beyond measure. She does not withdraw. She sleeps with her husband knowing pregnancy is certainly a possibility. Their charge was to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and so she did not doubt God’s words this time. She chooses to believe.
From time to time the self-doubt and pain of having not done mothering well still stings. The accusations of my failures rise up from the pit and I feel overwhelmed. You know every mistake – and I confess them again today.
Today, like Eve, I refuse to be disqualified by my doubts. I choose to stay the course you have appointed for me. Revive my faith and use me, however imperfect, for Your glory.